Is Your Attitude Keeping Your Alone
Posted on September 5, 2008 - Filed Under what women want
You’re intelligent. Attractive. And fully capable of holding your own. You’ve got an MBA, your own home in the suburbs or you’re renting a great apartment with a fabulous view. You’ve got a 401K plan, a nice size savings. You’ve even taken yourself on vacation for the past couple of years. And you did it all on your own. Many would say you’ve got it going on big time. You say, you are just doing you. There’s only one problem: For the past five years you’ve been sitting home alone and you’d really like to meet someone nice who has the potential to be your Mr. Right.
But you’ve got your requirements. You wont even think about dating a man unless he has a college degree, works a white collard job making close to six figures, drives a nice car, moves comfortably in the most influential social circles, dresses well, has a perfect command of the English language, is not too nerdy but not to thugged-out either, is taller than you by at least four inches, doesn’t talk too loud, watch too much TV or have any other bad habits that get on your nerves. And preferably, no kids. That’s a tall order. And the older we get, the harder that order becomes to fill. Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with having standards. Just make sure that your standards are not so rigorous and inflexible that they’re keeping you alone.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a man who’s got it going on externally. But you also want to make sure that he has the character and decency to back it up. Is he kind, thoughtful, honest, caring, hardworking and family oriented? How does he treat your children? Does he value and respect you? Maybe he drives a Honda instead of a BMW or he works with his hands instead of giving orders from an office. Maybe he doesn’t have a college degree but he’s intelligent, articulate and socially conscious. Just maybe he doesn’t have all of the external features that you’re looking for but he’s a great guy who works hard, brings home a check, has integrity, is a good conversationalist and thinks the world of you and your children. Would you be willing to pass him up in favor of a guy who had it going on externally but treated you like crap, was dismissive towards your children and acted like he was doing you a favor by showing you a little interest.
See it’s not about lowering your standards. It’s about re-examining your priorities so that you look deeper than a man’s education and pockets. Sometimes you’ve got to sit down with yourself to figure out what’s really important to you in a mate, especially when you think long term. Life is too short to allow rigorous standards to keep you alone.
This article is excerpted from Cassandra Mack’s book, “The Single Mom’s Little Book of Wisdom: 42 Tidbits of Wisdom To Help You Survive, Succeed and Stay Strong.”
Cassandra Mack is CEO of Strategies for Empowered Living Inc., producer and host of The No More Drama Hour of Power online talk radio show and the author of six books. To contact Cassandra go to: http://www.strategiesforempoweredliving.com
Tags: dating, single momHow Men Can Use “The Four Agreements” in Dating
Posted on September 4, 2008 - Filed Under what women want
The Four Agreements written by don Miguel Ruiz is a spiritually enlightening book that can help people rapidly transform their overall lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. In this article I am going to explain how The Four Agreements can help men improve there dating lives.
Agreement #1: Be Impeccable With Your Word
When you speak with integrity and say only what you mean with your date it does at least two things.
1) Increases the amount of value and respect she will have for you. Now I know sometimes you will find yourself in situations were you think you know what will happen if you speak the truth and what will happen if you don’t. Yet a woman’s attraction for you can grow when she knows that she is with a man who will choose the truth no matter what the perceived consequences or gains.2) By avoiding negativity and gossip in your words you maintain a aura of positivism and happiness both qualities that a healthy beautiful woman will find attractive.
This doesnt mean you should forget tact, only lies.
Agreement #2: Don’t Take Anything Personally In order to succeed you must be willing to learn from your failures. It would be great if every woman you met treated you like the King that you know you are, however on occasion you will run into a woman who for whatever reason chooses to disregard you or treat you in a way that you know is less than you are worth. When you have realized that she is not responding to you but to her own inner-self you will find yourself approaching women in an entirely different way.
Agreement #3: Don’t Make Assumptions
When you find the courage to express and act upon what you really want you will find that coming from this position of strength will be a turn on to the women you date. It is also important to remember that no means no and respect her boundaries. Just because she says no now doesn’t mean later she will so no as well. Respect her wishes and take it back down to a level she finds more comfortable and you might be surprised at the results that you will get.
Agreement #4 Always Do Your Best
Remember that when dating your #1 priority should be having fun and with that in mind always do your best to ensure that you have fun. Never take yourself to seriously and always enjoy yourself.
Consciously becoming aware off all of the agreements and making an effort to incorporate all of them will not only improve your relationships with others. It increases your opportunties to improve your dating skills while maintaining your true self.
Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men and creator of Dating Advice and Tips for Men which provides an abundance of information for men on dating and more
Tags: dating, four agreements, men5 Reasons Men Should Try Online Dating
Posted on September 3, 2008 - Filed Under what women want
Men if you haven’t already put your hand in at least one or two online dating sites then today is the day that it needs to happen. Online dating offers many advantages over other dating alternatives. Here is a list of just some of those benefits.
1. Inexpensive Cost per Opportunity… A membership to one of the more popular online dating sites runs around the same price as going out to the movies and dinner all by yourself or a night at the club buying two or three drinks.
2. Baggage is revealed early… At a bar you can meet a chick talk to her for the entire night and never find out about her kids, psycho ex, and any other baggage that she is carrying around with herself. Amazingly online lots of them reveal it right away which allows you to eliminate all those chicks that have unwanted baggage and more.
3. Your Options Just Increased… In the real world you are limited to the girls that are around you. No matter how tight your game or how much you travel in order to meet she must be in the same venue as you. Online, however, she need only have signed up for the site that you are on and you can join multiple sites as well. Wouldn’t it be nice to go away on a business trip and already have a date set up or that girl who lives on the west side 10 miles away yet you go out on the south side? Meeting her in any of your normal spots wouldn’t happen because you are always on the other side of town even though you live so close. Online all of that doesn’t mater.
4. Chance to show off your strengths… At a bar a girl only sees the outer you or the drunk you depending on the hour of the night with her “Bitch Shield” up not to mention her friends. Online she gets to look you over and if you have created yourself a quality profile, build you up based on all your strengths and then get to know the real you.
5. Time to choose… At a bar if you walk in and see two girls that you like you have a 3 seconds to choose which one you want to talk to first and sometimes that second one leaves or is occupied for the rest of the night, never allowing you a chance to talk to her. Online aint nobody going anywhere and if two girls email you at once you can answer both at your own pace.
Online Dating sites have many advantages, but, if you don’t have your inner game down you will discover that lots of women that you click with online will not click with you offline because your lack of inner game will always reveal itself. Do what you need to do in order to get that part of your life taken care of and you will discover that all areas of your dating game will improve as well!
Teddy Shabba is a Dating Coach for Men and creator of Dating Advice and Tips for Men which provides an abundance of information for men on dating and more. If you would like more information on how to attract, seduce and meet women sign up for the Teddy Shabba Dating Advice Newsletter for Men today
Tags: dating online, online dating keep looking »